Flagg the Pathetic Loser
by The Bodacious E
Summary: What happens when Flagg1991 is made into a joke in multiple one shots? Welp let's find out, shall we? (cover by me) This is all just a joke, it means nothing.
1. Mom's house

**Suh dudes, welcome to Flagg the Pathetic Loser! (Flagg is chill with it) A collection of one shots, revolving around Flagg being a bitch, a fag, whatever you want! Leave a suggestion in comments or just PM me. For the first chapter im moving it from my other stories The Bodacious E's Everything for the first chapter so we all know whats up. Enjoy.**

 **Idea by: Flagg1991**

Flagg was sitting on a pullout couch. I say pullout couch because he didnt own it, it was his moms.

Anyway he was eating Ramen and vaping in his moms basement while watching his favorite anime.

His basement consisted of his Pullout couch, his Xbox one and PC, (with an extra sticky keyboard) He had a collection of vapes and pokemon cards, along with a collection of Magic cards...

But the collection that outdid them all was his fedora collection. He had over ninety two fedoras in his basement. He vaped as he admired his collection, blowing a few rings he grunted and scratched his unshaved unwashed crotch. He then sniffed his hand.

"Smells like old cheese." He then scratched his pimple riddled face and passed over his bulbous nose. He slicked back his greasy hair.

He was so excited for the arrival of the two little twins that lived down the street. Nobody knew of their visits. Flagg looked in the mirror and buttoned his hawaiin pattern shirt all the way to the top. He then pulled up his cargo shorts and fixed his crocs and socks. He smiled and looked at his nasty teeth. They were about as yellow as a block of sharp cheddar.

He looked at all of his screamo pictures and thought. "One day i'll be famous!"

Flagg hadnt showered in a few months. His tits sagged and had sweat stains. He was a bit embarrased of his stretch marks, since they riddled his fuckin body like the put on a fedora as he took his insulin. He then took a puff from his inhaler.

"Watch out ladies! Here I come!" The 900 pound man announced proudly, his belly jiggling and his long happy trail blowing in the wind.

He plopped down and shouted at his mom to bring Pizza rolls and hotdogs.

He grunted. "Useless bitch."

He then hid his lotion and tissues so that his mom wouldnt know. After his mom brought the food and left he sat alone in his dark room reading fanfictions and masterbating. His room reaked of old cum and cheese. It smelled like an old moldy sloppy chilidog with extra onions.

That was when Lola and Lana walked down the stairs. Flagg posed an utterly loser like stance.

"Sup ladies, anyone order a handsome hunk?"

Lola cringed while Lana gave a dreamy sigh. He was the perfect man in Lana's eyes... so dirty... so vile... so gross.

Lana crawled over to the couch seductively.

Flagg smiled as she crawled into his lap and licked his crusty belly button and twirled his happy trail in her finger. Lola followed and suckled Flagg's toes.

Flagg moaned as his small bulge sprang up. Lana smirked and unzipped his cargo shorts, they were stiff from massive amount of cum stains. Lana unbuttoned them slowly for effect. It did the trick as Flagg started getting irritated.

Lana finally undid the button and peeled back his overworn boxers. The smell smacked hwr in the face and she nearly passed out, her eyes watered and stung from the stench, it was so... arousing!

Lana took it in her mouth (Gasp) it tasted even better than it smelled! She threw her head up and down with intense speed and skill. Flagg was moaning out loud as he took another hit from his inhaler. Lola moved from his toes and began to assist Lana with his shaft, they both lapped at it teasingly.

Flagg grabbed Lana by her pig tails and thrust deep into her throat, cumming as deep in as he could.

Lana choked and gagged. As Flagg pulled her above him. He slid a hotdog between her ass cheeks. It grazed her clit as she released a moan. Flagg began to slowly eat it out as Lola poured chocolate syrup over his hairy saggy smelly ballsack. She licked it away, getting wetter by the second.

She began to play with herself as she lapped the chocolate away from his genitals. Flagg was still going to town on Lana's ass, the hotdog long gone as Flagg ate Lana's ass. The pleasure rocking her small body. The room now smelled like sweat, BO, and sex mixed with a mexican sweat shop.

Flagg finished on Lana and told her to move over. He then had Lola come up and bend over. Flagg struggled but lifted his overweight body above her and slid his 5 inch meat into Lola. For lola it felt huge. He thrust back and forth with enough force that he lost a whole five pounds. He reached over and performed the shocker on Lana. He slid his index and middle finger into her slit and shoved his pinkie in her ass, now slick and lubed with his saliva. He rubbed her clit hard with his thumb.

They were really getting into it when suddenly...

The Loud family busted the door down angrily followed by Bobby with Ronnie Anne and The Catholic Priest(who touched himself to the sight) also Clyde was there.

Flagg stopped thrusting and they all just stared for a split second.

Then they all had a sweaty, disgusting, nasty orgy. All of Royal Woods joined.

It was awesome!

The End.


	2. Luan will you go to the dance with me?

**Idea: Flagg1991**

It was a Tuesday afternoon, for Flagg, and you know what that means!!!

"DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!!!!" Flagg and his friends shouted in the privacy of their public library.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!" Yelled the librarian.

Flagg's friends were Andy and Bunsen. Andy was 15 year old skinny kid that wore a jean jacket over a collard shirt. He also wore a pair of khaki pants over his clogs. Bunsen was a three hundred pound fifty year old man that lived wirh his grandmother.

Flagg was a 15 year old, riddled with acne, and a very noticable bald spot, dominating most of his scalp. He wore a spinny hat to cover most of it up, with his rainbow suspenders. He also wore 'above knee' shorts that formed around his frail penis. He had his rainbow dash pin on his collard shirt.

Rhe library was housing a public event today, so the kids were all present.

"Alright men! Are we ready to enter the world of fantasy???!!!" Flagg yelled with a lisp.

"Affirmative admiral!" They both shouted as an answer.

Flagg pushed up his glasses. "They all pulled out air guns and began firing at each other. Flagg fell dead with Andy as Bunsen blew his air guns.

They all rose as a girl entered the library.

"Luan Loud" they all said at the same time.

She simply walked over to the fiction section as Flagg stared wide eyed. He reached his hand down and touched himself a little.

"Flagg, you should ask her out!" Bunsen said.

Flagg looked at his feet. "I dont know deputy... it's still Dungeons and dragons tuesday!"

Bunsen sighed. "Flagg, you may not get this chance again."

The pimple riddled geek thought for a moment.

He stood and began to walk over to where Luan was, Andy and Bunsen cheered.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!"

Flagg came up behind Luan and said "Aww! I see that you're a damsel that enjoys the work of fiction, very admirable."

Luqn turned and looked around to see who he was talking too, once she noticed that it was her, she looked back.

"What?"

Flagg cleared his throat. "(ahem) I see that you are a proud reader of fiction, a place to escape from life."

Luan made a look of disgust. "Are you saying my life is bad?"

Flagg shook his head as if he was trying to get his brain out. "NO! I mean- Of course not!!!"

Luan shook her head. "What do you want?"

Flagg took a puff from his inhaler. "I was wondering if you would partake in the act of physical movement in a sensual form at the public event being held in our location of educational prowess."

"What?" Luan asked in confusion.

Flagg was very sweaty now. "Would you go to the dance with me?!" He said a little to loud.

Luan laughed. "You're in band right? When you're marching, do they ask you to go in-front of the the rifles, or on the bayonets?"

Flagg looked horrified. "N-no!"

All the other kids in the library saw this and began to approach and watch.

Luan laughed. "Boi, yo face look like a pepperoni pizza, fuck you mean. It looks like the only sexual experience you've had is trying to cram your dick into a cowbell. Look at that smile, looks like some 3 year olds need to stay by the swings. This one time at band camp... You got sexually molested by your camp supervison! You look like the "hip" and "cool" art teacher who makes offhandedly sexual comments to the attractive girls in class, shows movies on Fridays and suddenly gets fired halfway through the school year. Now get dat ass outta here!!"

Flagg shit his pants and cried on his way out, kids laughing and watching him run off. He began having an asthma attack when six jocks appeared out of nowhere and revealed baseball bats and switch blades.

"Sup nerd, heard you tried asking a hot chick out today?"

Flagg slipped and his head hit a beer bottle. The bullies rose above him and began beating him, until he looked like a can of chunky tomato soup.

The End.


	3. Flagg and the legend of the lil willie

**Idea by: Flagg1991**

It was Friday night in The Loud House, Lori was in her bed texying away to all of her friends about that sexy senior... Flagg.

"Om gosh! He is SO hot!" One of them said.

Loru smiled, she was about to make them all SO jealous!

"Well guess who's coming to my place tonight." Lori told them.

"No way!"

"Your lying! Not even Carol could get him!"

Lori heard the door bell and took a picture of Flagg standing at her front door and sent it, proceeding to set the phone down.

She stood and walked to the staircase, walking down she saw Lincoln open the door for him.

"Thanks little man." Flagg said.

Lori introduced Flagg to the family, everyone instantly liked him much more than Bobby. Lori told them all that she needed some alone time with Flagg.

They all understood instantly as she took Flagg up the stairs by his hand.

Once inside, she threw him on her bed and locked the door.

"Are you ready?" Lori asked him.

"What has 40 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?"

Lori shook her head in confusion.

"My zipper."

Lori tackled him and began to rip away his jeans like an animal.

Once she had she saw... she saw...

One inch of chode.

Lori laughed and took a picture, sending it to everyone. Flagg began to let some tears fall. "Whats wrong, babe?"

"N-nothing (snicker) its just..."

Flagg tilted his head. "Just what?"

"Your dicks so small the police filed it as a missing person!"

Flagg sniffled and covered his apendage.

"Your doctor called! He said that you have a small problem!!! Your dicks so small, satisfying a woman for you is mission impossible!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Flagg left, crying like a bitch.

He later commited suicide after fucking a pasta strainer.

The End.


	4. The Pedophile

**Idea by: LeviAckerman0209**

Flagg1991 exited his house, breathing in the sweet morning air! He had on his overalls over a pink shirt, he wore his spinny hat with pride!

His mother had given him a lollipop for his walk to the playground to fuc- I mean, play with the children...

Flagg fixed his glasses and hopped down the stairs and skipped down the sidewalk like a fruitcake.

As ge was skipping he took a lick at his lollipop and slipped, scratching his knee.

" WAAAAAAHHHH MOMMY!!!!! I SCRATCHED MY KNEE!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!"

Flagg screamed bloody murder as he held his knee in pain, crying like a punk ass bitch.

Then a man approached him. "Well, hello there little buddy! Do you need some help? Maybe some candy?"

Flagg looked at the man, he was missing some hair, he had a nappy blue sweater over his collared shirt like some douche bag from leave it to beaver. He was tall and had a pot belly.

"Yes sir, please." Flagg said.

The man grabbed him with his rough calloused hands, violently and chuckes him in his van.

Flagg sat in the back of the mans van as they drove to the undisclosed location.

They pulled up to a worn down house, about two floors. The man yanked Flagg from the backseat and dragged him through the front door.

The young boy happily followed as they entered the house. He saw a bunch of kids inside.

"Hey dad, who's the kid?" asked a white haired boy.

The man just grunted as he through Flagg down into the basement. He broke an arm on the way down.

Flagg whined and cried as he glanced around, on the opposite side of him was the dead corpse of a dead Latino, he had a bowl with a name on it, it said AcropolisGD. Flagg cringed and cried.

He heard some chit chat from the top of the steps.

"Lynn! We've talked about this! No more kids! The cops are gonna find us!!!"

He then heard a loud slap sound followed up by someone coming down the stairs.

The man now known as Lynn grabbed Flagg by his neck and flipped him, so that his stomach was flat on the ground.

He unzipped his pants as Flagg laid helpless, ass high in the air.

Lynn Sr. stripped away Flagg's clothes with ease, revealing his naked body.

Lynn Sr. licked his lips at rhe sight of Flagg's petite little body. "MMMMMMM" Lynn growled.

He lifted his meat between his rough hands and set it against Flagg's ass...

The End.


	5. Temper Tantrum

**Idea by: The Bodacious E**

Flagg read over the latest chapter of "Flagg the Pathetic Loser".

Flagg had already prepped his lotion and tissues, wanting to read a sex scene about him and Lynn Sr. so that he could fuel his deepest desires.

When he saw that E didnt write a sex scene he screamed, and typed up a comment.

'You cut off at the hot part. wtf.'

Flagg punched a hole in his computer and started throwing shit everywhere Tv? smashed. Xbox? smashed. Cat? beaten. He did all of this naked and angry, his cock coated in petroleum jelly while screaming. "I JUST WANTED TO JERK MY COCK TO GETTING RAPED BY A FOURTY YEAR OLD MAN!!!! RAAAAA!!!!"

Flagg then punched his mom in the fucking face.

At that moment a knock was heard at the door so he answered it.

It was Lola... and she had a lump in her gut. It didnt take a fucking rocket scientist to find out that she was pregnant.

Flagg moved all of that raw, no dad power into his fist and punched Lola in the stomach, the belly flattened back to normal and Lola ran off crying. At that moment Lana approached with the same shit.

Flagg looked up in his wizard drab. He had a lightning bolt scar on his face. He looked at Lana.

"Flagg, im pregnant."

Flagg pulled his wand and shouted. "FETUS (breathe) DELETUS!!!!!!"

The baby shriveled inside of her and fell out. A homeless josh ran by and grabbed it to feast on. Lana ran off crying as Flagg slammed the door.

He then turned and made himself some pizza rolls, still seething in quiet rage at the fact that he disnt get a hot sex scene.

At thay moment Lynn Sr. burst the door down and jumped Flagg's naked form.

It was clear that the man had been drinking, for Flagg could smell the alcahol on his breath. Lynn shed his clothes off of his body and revealed how hairy he was. Flagg swooned as he conditioned Lynn's pubes with his tongue.

He forced his massive man meat into Flagg's gullet. Flagg... or should I say Fagg took it with grace.

Lynn Sr. thrusted in and out, his potbelly smacking Fagg in the face every time, rubbing his sweaty happy trail against his face, giving him carpet burn. Fagg didnt mind it though.

Lynn busted in Fagg's eye and flipped him around. Fagg obliged, but when Lynn Sr saw the horror that was Fagg's ass he died.

Fagg had so many damn hemeroids that his ass looked like a place for maggot larvae to make a civilization.

Fagg cried that he didnt get the mans love and hung himself.

Byt not before shooting up his job.


	6. Flagg The Sloppy Drunk

**Hanging Soul, I laughed at the part in your comment were you said "Fag- I mean Flagg." Just sayin that was funny to me.**

 **Id** **ea By: Flagg199** **1**

Lori threw up her arm, within her hand was a large sum of mail. "Alright girls, you know the drill!"

All the girls began to dig through the mail, searching for what could possibly be the letter that they had been awaiting. You see, dear reader these girls may be differential in many ways, but one thing that they all had in common was their love for one mans writing... Flagg1991.

It had all began when Leni came home wirh a book report, Leni obviously being an oblivious retard couldnt read worth a shred of a shit, so she went to Lori for help. Lori went to the book store with Leni to find a book. The clerk was touching herself at the counter to a specific book.

Lori angrily banged the bell. The clerk through her hand away from her crotch quicker than Lincoln can hide a hard on.

"How can I help you today?" The clerk asked.

"Yes, do you have a short interesting story by any chance? Something simple but good."

The clerk bit her lip. "If you're asking me for a suggestion, I would have to suggest 'The Universal Clarity of Climax'!" The clerk said this in such a way that she sounded as if she was in heat.

Lori sighed. "Whatever." She purchased the book and left, carrying it in a small bag.

Once Loru and Leni had made it home they got right to work.

Lori sat Leni across from her on the bed, and began to read the book aloud and explain... but as Lori went further and further into the words she began to find herself getting hot, and by the looks of Leni, they were experiencing the same shit. Soon it was to much to bare.

"GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!" Lori yelled as she grabbed a vibrator and rushed to the bathroom.

~1 hour later~

Lori left the bathroom smelling like a bag of funions and eggs. When she walked into her room she found that a few more of the sisters had discovered the book, evidentally Leni had asked from help from a few more sisters. In the room was Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lisa, Lola, and Lana.

Lori didnt say much because it REALLY was hard to resist, almost all the girls had their hands in their panties.

Anyway they wrote a note to the author and were awaiting a return.

Back in the present. All the girls dug threw the mail.

Lola held up a letter "I think I got it!!!"

They all looked at Lola happily.

Lola read over it. "Oh nevermind, Lori just got accepted into harvard."

They all groaned and kept looking, until they came along a letter adressed to them all.

Luan held it up proudly. "Guys I think I found it!"

Luan opened it as her sisters waited eagerly.

"Dear, Louds

I just recently recieved your letter, and I must say that I am quite pleased to have impressed you all, I would love to meet you all and have a talk over my book, possibly even come up with Ideas for a new tale. With best wishes, Flagg1991

P.S. I have hired a limo to pick you all up"

Luan and the rest stood dead still for a few moments. Then they broke out into shrieking. They hugged and fingered each other happily.

Lincoln stuck his head in. "Hey guys, whats up?"

All the sisters turned angrily. "GET THE FUCK OUT LINCOLN!!!"

Lincoln scurried away as the sisters beat him with trash bags full of soup cans.

He crawled into the basement and scurried around naked, balls smacking his ankles.

An hour later a limo pulled up to the curb, prepared to take the girls away to their dream man.

Flagg lived relatively far away, so it took a few hours to arrive, meanwhile the girls smoked HELLA crack in the limo. **Jk •3•**

They arrived in front a a small, rundown shack. Lori turned to the driver, "Are you sure that we're at the right place, sir?"

The driver turned to her. "Yes ma'am. This is Flagg's place."

All the girls muttered as they piled out and approached the house.

Lori was at the lead, so naturally she knocked on the door, the door felt as if it was made of cardboard.

They heard mumbling and stumbling as someone approached the door.

A man wearing a sweaty wife beater opened the door, the wife beater was covered in sweat stains, what looked like mustard and maybe dried milk... scratch that... jizz. He smelled like a pack of bologna mixed with moldy hotdogs.

He smiled a toothy yellow smile and said. "Why hello there sexy... who are rhe little ones?"

Lori looked at her reflection in the mans baldspot, she looked horrified. She straightened up. "Um, we were invited here by Flagg1991?"

The man lifted a bottle of liquor to his lips and gulped down the last of its contents. "Im right here good lookin, wanna come in?"

Lori nodded for whatever reason she had. She barely brushed past his beer gut as did the other girls.

He muttered obseen things as they all walked past him.

Leni: Mmm bet you taste like starbucks...

Luna: Nph~ I bet you can give some GREAT sloppy toppy.

Luan: You got a nice rack.

Lynn: Damn... you got a tight ass.

Lola: I can be your prince.

Lana: I'd hit that!

They all sat down on his sad sagging couch, roaches were everywhere, and the place smelled like sweat and beer.

Flagg1991 popped a squat, wrapping his hairy thin arms around Lola and Luan.

He nipped at their ears and melted Lola's earring with his stank ass breath.

They all sat uncomfortable.

Flagg kept touching them and whispering crewpy things.

Lori finally put her foot down when he tried to mud wrestle with Lana... naked.

"Sir, we all came here to speak of your book in a mature manner! Just to find tou a poor, drunk!"

Flagg threw a hand up. "candy ass, I am far from poor!"

Lori looked confused. "Then why do you live in this dump?"

"I spend all my money on booze, hookers, and keeping little kids mouths shut."

Lori smiled. "Ok, I think that it's high time that we leave."

All the girls agreed but as they tried to leave Flagg stepped in the way.

"Oh yall aint goin nowhere!!!!"

They all held up an amulet and it began to glow. Thats when a teen floated out, naked save for a large leaf over his crotch. He looked down upon Flagg and let his hand fall upon him.

Pure uncut fear flowed through Flagg's veins as the being glowed in all of his glory.

"BOI! Dont make me give it to yo no hair havin, wife beatin, catfuckin, incest writin, kid fuckin, havin ass!! I'd stay drunk if I looked like that too my dude!!! Remember those kids in middle school who were in a phase where they only wore DC Shoes and talked about smokin weed and how much they hated their mom? I guess it wasn't just a phase for you. Your newest tattoo says, "If it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid." Cheap wife beater tank top, cheap hat, cheap earring, cheap tequila. Dude, tie your shoes, pull your pants up, get out of the trailer, get a job, and make some damn money. NOW GET DAT ASS OUTTA HERE BOI!!!!

Flagg had a heart attack and died. All the girls gathered around their savior.

"Thank you E!" They all said. "If it wasnt for your superior roast we would have been done for!!"

E smiled as he went back into the amulet of the roast.

The End.


	7. Flagg V Luan

**Idea by: AcropolisGD**

Flagg stared in the mirror. He had a look of utter determination. Him as well as so many alternate versions of himself had been getting roasted to the point of crispitty-scrum-diddly-dumptious goodness. He was going to be the game changer! He was currently ready for a roast session. Not anything special, just some small competition that he figured he could handle on his own.

This version of Flagg wasnt a loser like the others, this one was a regular dude. He fixed his T-shirt and muttered encouraging things to himself.

"You are one of the most profound, renowned, and well known loud authors, get your shut together dude!" Flagg shouted at his reflection.

He looked at his hair and threw on some shades. "Im ready bruh."

Flagg stepped out his door as the press and news reporters bombarded him with flashing cameras and microphones to the face. His bouncers could barely conceal their boss from the eager public as they led him to his private jet

You're damn right Flagg has his own jet

You dumbass, this dudes a real muthafuckin G.

Flagg got on the jet as he turned to all the news reporters and told them all "It's sad that all of your lives revolve around stalking celebrities, think of that when you eat your cheap ass take out in you sad one bedroom apartment tonight."

The press all left crying and did a mass suicide.

Meanwhile Flagg was enjoying champagne and hookers on a private jet, flying to a roast contest in Royal Woods.

By the time that they had arrived Flagg felt hype enough to get down to business with his roast, he was sure that he would conquer over all in his perpetual roast.

Flagg followed behind his bouncers as all of Royal Woods cheered over his arrival, all but the Loud family that had been made into a mockery by Flagg's twisted stories of sibling love.

They through angry words, but Flagg just simply walked past them, ignoring them completely. All the other Loud Writers were gathered at the roast festival, prepared to see what Flagg could do. Im talkin TheLivingMyth, Abberantscript, Exotos, Underrated hero, PonySweets, etc. Flagg didnt care though, he triumphed over all.

He approached the stage as a list of all his stories appeared on a big screen. Once he was on the stage he grabbed the mic.

"HOW IS EVERYBODY TONIGHT??!!" Flagg shouted, earning a positive reply from the crowd.

"Good, because I came here to roast, and redeem myself!" The crowd went WILD at that.

"Alright, lets go ahead and let everyone up to start up the contest, Love you dudes!" Flagg left The Bodacious E to continue hosting the contest while he went to the high class waiting room.

He stuck in there preparing roast for who ever had the balls.

A man with a nametag that said Levi walked in with a clipboard and looked at Flagg. "Sir, they're ready for you."

Flagg straightened his shoulders and walked up to the stage, this is where he would face off his apponent.

"And now!" The Bodacious E announced to the crowd. "Flagg1991 faces off with our other top rank contestant, Luan Loud!!!" E stepped back to let them face off.

Flagg walked up, as did Luan.

"Flagg, start off." E said.

Flagg smiled at the crowd and looked at Luan. "Your teeth so fucked up you look like an autistic hillbilly."

"Yo breath so damn bad it smells like a tuna fish casserole wrapped in roadkilled skunk in a sushi roll."

Flagg winced, but returned to a smile. "Like your cooch?"

Luan fell as if she had recieved a blow to the gut.

"OH SHIT THIS IS GETTIN REAL!!!" E shouted.

Luan stood back up. "Y-you're a- a"

"A-a-a- BITCH GET THAT STUTTER OUTTA HERE BOI!!!! Yo head look like a damn kidney! why tf yo teeth touch yo damn chin? fix yo damn hair you nappy headed ho! You think you fun-"

Flagg was interrupted when Luan rose up and the roast force overtook her.

Flagg fell down cowering in fear.

"BOI, BRING DAT ASS HERE!!! YOU'RE THE FUCKING EPITOME OF HIGH SCHOOL VIRGINITY!!!! BOI I CANT TELL IF YOU'RE A 15 YEAR OLD NERD OR A FOURTY YEAR OLD LESBIAN!!!! BOI YO ASS STINK!!! I BET PEOPLE VISIT YO INSTAGRAM AS OFTEN AS YOU TAKE A SHOWER!!! YOU LOOK LIKE THA TYPA DUDE THAT PLAYS YU-GI-OH DURING LUNCH IN HIGH SCHOOL! YO DAMN HAIRLINE STARTS BACK WHERE YO DAMN CAREER ASPIRATIONS ENDED BOI. YO ASS IS THE RESULT OF PRESSING RANDOM SELECT ON THE CHARACTER MENU BOI. YOU LOOK LIKE THE LONG TAN AND HANDSOME FISH FROM SPONGEBOB!!! NASTY ASS!!! YO DAD SHOULD HAVE SHOT YOU ON A WALL INSTEAD OF INSIDE YO DAMN SISTER, YO ASS LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN IMBRED SLIM SHADY. YO ASS LOOK LIKE YOU ACCIDENTALLY SAW YO MOMS TITTIES AS A TODDLER AND JUST NOW EMERGED FROM YO LOCKED ROOM AFTER A TWENTY YEAR MASTERBATION SESSION!!!! YO ASS LOOK LIKE YO PARENTS KEEP YOU HIGH ON BENADRYL SO YOU SLEEP, THAT WAY THEY CAN PRETEND YO ASS NEVER HAPPENED!!! YOU NASTY INCEST WRITIN, PEDOPHILE LOOKIN, THINKIN YOU GOT ROAST HAVIN ASS!!! IF I EVER SEE YO ASS HERE AGAIN IMA ROAST YOU SO DAMN BAD YOU GON DIE BRUH!!! GET DAT ASS OUTTA HERE!!!!!"

Flagg pissed and ran all the way home, piss trail behind him. When he got home he ate ice cream and watched tele-tubbies while wallowing in his own tears. He jerked his dick while watching the innocent creatures. He ate so much that he imploded and died.

He didnt have the nuts to roast.


	8. Cliff sucked dry

**Sorry, if the roast are getting a bit... idk harsh. I'll be sure to tone it down in the future chapters, sorry about that.**

 **Idea by: HangingSoul**

"Pop-pop had been taking his semen samples for the last thirty five years. So I think that it's safe to say that he can miss one week." Said Rita.

Pop-pop had grown senile over the last few years, the family was supposed to take him to the doctor, they all loved the man and wanted to be there for him.

Once the family had packed up in vanzilla, a masked man entered the living space. He searched for anything with value. He found some instruments, rare comics, expensive make up, jewelry, rare breeds of animal, very expensive clothing items, a cure for cancer, and a buat of edwin the vampire that was worth probably two grand.

The robber aka Flagg was happy about finding so much value in one house, so he went ahead and decided that he had earned himself a little... relaxation.

He found the parents room and discovered a large sum of 'lotion' in closed containers.

"A bath in lotion?" Flagg asked. "Well that sounds fantastic."

Flagg then took an hour, pouring every jar into the bathtub... it kinda smelled like a pool more than lotion.

Once done Flagg stripped naked and hopped into the warm liquid.

He splashed and laughed, and had fun in his 'lotion' bath when a bit got in his mouth.

"Wtf? Is this Jizz?" Flagg asked, sniffing the liquid.

He shrugged and continued his bath, when he saw cliff the cat walk in. The cat was the sexiest mofo that Flagg had ever seen. Flagg's dick shot up.

The cat gave a sexy purr and rolled over for Flagg. Flagg obliged and got out of the tub, approaching Cliff.

Flagg leaned down and began to suck the milk out of Cliff. He sucked that cat dry, until he looked mummified. Cliff died.

Flagg took his winnings and became rich.

The End.


	9. Flagg the Hummus Eating Rabbi

**Since I've gotten better with my writing, I just decided to go ahead and rewrite this for Flagg, hope you laugh more than the original, my dude. :D**

"Why me?" This was a question Lynn Sr., father of eleven asked himself more times a day than the pope prays.

Lynn Sr. had a very flat view of how things worked. You're dragged into a world you dont want to be in by selfish fags that just want a kid, you're quickly forced into school for fourteen years of your life just to fail, then you plunge into an unwanted marriage with a bunch of selfish brats that you're forced to call kids, then the cycle continues.

Lynn HATED his life. He hated his bitch wife who was getting fat, He hated his rickety fucking house, he hated his dead end job, and what is the delicious cherry on top of every mans life with a family?

Children.

He hated it when people complained about having four kids, they think they have problems? His wife has been poking holes in his condoms for YEARS, Replacing spermicide with fucking mayo, all just to bury him even further in the ground from walking away from his shit life. You see, Rita KNOWS how much Lynn hates it their, she sees past his false humour. So what does his bitch do to keep someone paying the bills? You give him so many damn kids that if he leaves child support will cause him to go bankrupt.

Lynn Sr. had dug his own hole in truth, after Lori... Lori was always an accident, he never loved her, they told her she wasnt an accident but really? that's a laugh. Leni? Dissapointment. Lynn wanted to set her up for adoption as soon as they found out she was mentally handi capped. But NOOOOO. Let's keep her.

Fuck Rita.

The rest of the kids, he can hardly even place their names, he really could give a fuck less.

(Task at Hand)

"Lynn wake up it's time for church." Rita said as she slapped her husbands leg.

Lynn lifted his head from his pillow exhausted. didnt want to go to church, nothing against the good Lord, he just didnt care to see his family.

He lifted himself up and stared at his alarm clock.

"8:34 on a Sunday, If I had written that damn Bible..." Lynn thought.

"Well guess I better get ready for another day in this shithole."

Lynn Sr. brushed past his wife, not caring to talk to her, he hopped straight in the shower, washing away his thoughts for temporary bliss, letting the water run down his old tired body, he kept thinking that he saw flashes when he closed his eyes to wash his hair... must just be him.

He hopped out, drying himself off and throwing a towel around his waist, letting his beer gut slump over it. He cleaned his ears and stepped out of the steamy bathroom, only to find an outfit already set out for him by his wife, he knew that if he didnt wear it she would raise hell and threaten him with a divorce again, even though he knew she was bluffing.

He sighed and threw on the attire, slipping on the unfun tie that his bitch had selected for him. Once done he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, his thoughts pestered him like usual, even alone his logic mind fucked him.

He thought of all the things he would do if his family died in a horrible accident.

He dreamed of them driving Vanzilla and coming into collision with a semi, all of them dying on impact... or even better.

He dreamt that he died on impact, but not just him! Some of his least favorite daughters, Lola for sure, fucking selfish little shit, Lori, the one that dragged me into this. He wanted his wife dead... so bad, but no, let her suffer the turmoil of raising this family alone! Let her have to go to therapy for them, gah his son is a bitch, he'd probably end up fucking a sister cause he isnt man enough to face th-

"Fuck!" Lynn yelled. He had been so deep in thought that he had cut his gums while flossing.

"Dammit, even when i'm alone they fuck with me!"

He threw his toothbrush on the sink and left his room, walking downstairs to see his kids, like usual jeering over the bacon and syrup.

He sat down hoping no one would take note of his presence.

"Hi dad!"

Fuck.

"So I was hoping that you would help me make some mud pies later?" Lana said as more of a statement than a question.

"No." Lynn sneered.

"Aaawwww, why not?" Lana asked, obviously upset.

Lynn gripped his fork so hard it seemed like it would snap.

"Because, I have better things to do than pound a bunch of mud into the shape of a dessert, just so my filthy trash eating daughter can eat them when no ones around, I swear if I have to watch you eat one more damn worm, I will take you to the orphanage!"

Lana began to sob as he took his passport and drove to the airport.

"Dad? Why not?" Lana asked again, waking Lynn from his day dream.

"Hm? Oh, nothing sweetie, just tired after a long day at the office yesterday." Lynn said between clenched teeth.

"Oh, ok daddy." Lana said with a smile as she went back to fussing over a bottle of syrup.

The rest of breakfast was a blur as Lynn held his head down to try and shelter himself from the animals in his house. People often asked him if he was scared of his kids, answer? yes, they're fucking horrific. 5 angry hormonal teenage girls? Fuck that.

"Dad? Are you ok?" Lori asked.

"Hm? Yes, of course why?" Lynn asked.

"Ummm, you still have a full plate and you've been sitting there for thirty minutes."

Lynn noticed that they were getting suspicious and quickly gobbled down his food. "Sorry, sweety, just alot on dad's mind as of right now."

Lori nodded and began gathering plates to put in the sink.

Lynn stood, wiping his face with a napkin, and heading to the door to start up vanzilla.

He walked on his shitty porch and looked up to see Mr. Grouse. staring at him, this made Lynn angry.

"What the fuck are you looking at bitch?!" He yelled.

Mr Grouse gasped and ran away from the window, causing a smirk to spread across Lynn Sr.'s features.

He hopped in the van and slipped the key into the ignition, turning it as she roared to life. He sat in the van, staring at himself in the rear view mirror, as he reached into the dash.

How does he cope with all this bullshit without staring down the barrel of a gun? Brownies.

Special...Brownies...

He pulled out a small cartridge filled with the happy meals. He gobbled up two and threw the container back in the dash as his family piled outside, loud and annoying as usual.

They all argued again, third time this morning dammit, and settled down as Rita sat in the passenger seat beside him, opening the visor and adding more and more make up.

He turned vanzilla in reverse and punched the gas, speeding off to church.

He swerved around pot hole after pot hole, grumbling about how fucked the economy was.

He sped past the school, wishing that one day a school shooting would occur there, do some parents a favor.

"Hey sweety? How do I look?" Rita asked.

What he wanted to say: "Like a fucking clown."

What he said: "Beautiful as always."

Her hand fell over his and he suppressed the urge to throw chunks over the steering wheel.

He sighed in relief as they pulled into the church, but much too soon.

In the parking lot he saw the person he hated most, more than his kids, more than his wife, and possibly... more than himself.

Flagg1991. That fat fuckin hummus eating rabbi!

Lynn shook his head in dissapointment as he parked his van and stepped out.

As his kids rushed inside he tried to follow, but to no avail.

"Howdy their Lynn!" Flagg said as he rolled up in his elecric wheelchair.

Flagg at least weighed 1,500 pounds, no joke, his fat hung off the side of his chair, sometimes getting in the way of the wheels, his hair was in curls like any other typical jew, he wore that weird ass hat that no one knows how to spell the name of and is to lazy to look it up. He was sweating like always, his body caked with stains, his chins covered his star of david necklace, his tits hung low in his button up shirt. Ew.

"Oh, hi Flagg" Lynn said in a falsetto of happiness. "How goes it at the synegogue?"

Flagg smiled. "Amazing, but once again, it'd sure be nice if we had a sexy stud like yourself around." he said with a wink, pulling a tub from his rolls and going to to town.

Lynn sneered. Flagg was always hitting on him in that creepy way.

"Well, as you know i'm a proud catholic." Lynn said.

He could tell that Flagg wasn't even listening, he was to busy biting his lip and looking lynn up and down, slowly licking the butter from his fingers.

"Mph, anyway, I was going to ask you, I'm to big to do it and I dont trust anyone else, may you please button my pants?"

Lynn sighed. "Of course."

He leaned down and began to dig through the waves of sweaty lard, looking for fabric. He dug and dug, but felt nothing, until his grabbed a small stiff object, he knew what it was right away, ripping his arm away in panic.

Flagg laughed. "Just a bit of humour, can't have a good day without laughter! If you want you can have another handful~"

It took all of Lynn's power not to pop this fat fuck like a balloon.

"No thanks, I actually have to go... bye?"

Flagg sadly looked down. "Oh... I see. Well catch you later Lynn!" He slapped his ass, and cupped it, giving it a small squeeze before rolling away with all the small children playing with his fat like play dough.

Lynn boiled, if that fag ever touched him again, he would lose his shit, he spun and walked into his church.

(One sermon later)

Lynn Sr. walked out of church feeling reborn. He breathed in the air, taking in the fact that he could go home and rela-

"Dad! We're hungry!"

Fuck. Lynn hated his family. He sighed, imagining strangling them so he would calm down. "We'll stop at a diner on the way home."

The kids all cheered. Yeah, not like they're the ones that have to pay for eleven meals. Fucking losers.

"Howdy again Lynn! You got a minute?" Flagg asked, as the familiar whir approached him from behind.

Lynn turned, for once being happy to see him, now he wouldnt have to look at his ugly wife and cunty kids.

"Hey Flagg, whatcha up too?" Lynn asked in a chipper voice, even tho inside he was seething.

Flagg beared his nasty ass yellow teeth, revealing bits and pieces of bagels and pita bread, his mouth radiated the stench of hummus, he was so close now that Lynn could smell him, gah this man needed a shower. "Well, nothing much, just admiring you hehe."

Lynn smiled, nice to get a compliment.

"Well, thank you very much!"

Flagg smiled, giving him a shoulder touch. "Say, would you like to come over to my place and have a beer?"

Lynn just about lost his shit, have a beer AND leave his family for awhile? Yes please!

"Of course!" Lynn said. "Let me tell my wife, maybe I can bring a friend?"

Flagg fainted, quickly waking up and unwrapping a stick of butter. "Of course! The more the merrier!" He ate the butter.

Lynn resisted the urge to throw his fist in the air and flick off his children. He turned and approached the van where his wife and kids were waiting. "Hey honey! Do you mind taking the kids to the diner and home? Sorry, Flagg invited me over to talk about plans for the synegogue."

Rita lazily looked to her husband. "Whatever, can I get your walle-"

"Bye honey! I love you!" Lynn shouted as he rushed over to Flagg.

Flagg smiled. "Man, you are in for one hell of a fun night!"

(Five hours later)

"So there I was... standing in a crowd of catholics... asked to drink the blood of Christ!" Flagg said in a mystical tone as Lynn Sr. and his friend Em watched in wonder.

"So I stood up to the crowd and shouted! My ancestors already did! Ha!"

Lynn and Em burst out in laughter, almost spilling their beers.

Flagg reached over and rubbed Lynn's leg seductively. "You like that joke?"

Lynn laughed, flattered, the deeper he got into the bottle the more appealing Flagg seemed to get... he wasnt sure what he felt until Flagg's hand drifted further up his pant leg and rested upon his crotch.

Lynn shot up, causing Em to shy away in terror. He grabbed Flagg by the back of the wheelchair and tipped him out like a cow.

Flagg fell, jiggling in a heap when he hit the floor. The foundation of the entire apartment complex shook with a tremor.

Lynn Sr. unbuckled his belt and stripped out of his khakis, revealing that he had pitched a tent.

Flagg tried to flip on his stomach, but to no avail.

Em slipped into the closet in a superman suit to watch. ( **If you get that reference, congrats** )

Lynn dropped down, ripping away at Flagg's 3 week old boxers.

Flagg simply giggled in joy as Lynn began to lick the sweat off of his unwashed ass, dipping his tongue in as deep as it could go, savoring the passion.

Lynn trailed kisses up his back side and licked at his back tits, causing Flagg to Moan in pleasure. Lynn nipped at his ears, savoring the overflow of earwax.

He then threw away his boxers, seeing no further use for them. He dragged his long tongue down Flagg's back, savoring his flavor as much as he could. He gound the crease of his fat ass and licked the mildew away taking it in his mouth and sliding it down his throat. He flipped Flagg on his stomach and suckled his massive tits, unwashed of course...

Lynn nibbled his way down his rolls slowly, with precision, bwing careful to cause more pleasure than harm.

He finally found his chunky legs and through them over his shoulders, alligning himself with Flagg's swelled anus, puckered and ready.

He looked to Flagg for assurance. Flagg nibbled his lip and nodded.

Lynn slid in slow, using his ass sweat to puncture his tight rectum.

Flagg cried out in approval... that is until things got rough. Lynn bit down on Flagg's rolls, causing a shout of pain as blood seeped from his new wound.

Lynn didnt slow, he went harder, faster and most importantly... deeper.

He thrust so hard that he felt his ass tear from the stress of his massive thick cock.

Lynn kept thrusting regardless of Flag's cries for help. He heard Em masterbating in the closet and it drove him further and further.

Flagg had a heart attack, but Lynn didnt stop, he kept going until he was gripping Flaggs cold dead skin in his fingers.

He pulled out, releasing his liquids all over his dead corpse.

"Fucking Hummus Eating Rabbi."


	10. The Children

It was a hard day for Flagg, yes... that it was.

As he awoke on his air matress, his tired eyes blinking out the haze. He sat up, causing some empty ramen cups and mountain dew bottles to topple down over him and onto his messy carpet. He brushed off the crumbs and and raked his fingers through the many food stains on his worn out T-shirt.

As he drew a hand to his face he looked at his wedding ring, with no regret... today was the day that he would pawn it. He stood uneagerly, kicking shit out of his way to the bathroom through his pig pin. He opened up the medicine cabinet and practically ate the pain killers like a meal. He looked at his toothbrush and shrugged.

"Eh, I dont need it."

He exited said bathroom and passed into his living room, he had nothing noticable about his pad, save for a few minor things, a few pictures of his kids, that's about it.

He then flopped on his couch causing a long groan, Flagg wasnt really FAT per say, lets just say he had some meat on his bones.

He creepily licked his lips as he opened up his secret drawer, pulling out a box of cleenex and a tube of patroleum Jelly, whilst rubbing his hands together like a creep, he did this whenever he needed a new idea for a story.

He through a pair of homeless womans panties around his face and taped it there, he then slipped in some blue cheese and turned the tv to the loud house. He lathered his hand in patroleum Jelly and used the other to set a razor to his neck as he violently masterbated.

"Nyah! Oh yeaaaah!" Flagg groaned out as he watched the kid show.

"Im such a great writer~ everyone knows me! I have something to brag about from writing stoeies about kids fucking! Mph~"

Flagg reached over and grabbed the cleenex, holding it under his head as he anxiously busted. He cleaned up and thought of his new idea.

The BS life of Lemy Loud... yeah.

Flagg stood from his couch, sweating. "Damn, I gotta get dressed, todays a big day."

Flagg moved into his room and tuned his radio to snoop dogg. He put on a Hendrix shirt and some jeans, throwing on some shoes, he grabbed his keys and walked out the door of his apartment.

As he locked the door behind him, his neighbor caught him. "Howdy there Flagg! How goes it?"

Flagg sighed. "Hey Abby, nothing much, just going to get my kids for the weekend, ya know, ex is a bitch."

He nodded. "Well good luck with that, when you arent busy, come over for a drink."

Flagg nodded as he waved him off. Flagg rushed down the stairs to his Ford Pinto.

He unlocked the driver side door and popped the door open, leading to a few wrappers and bottles falling out. He grunted as ge went ahead and stepped back in his car. He looked down at the cup holder to see that he had left his Mcdonalds sweet tea yesterday night.

Flagg slipped the key into the ignition and pulled off, exiting the apartment complex to go across Michigan to Royal Woods.

As he passed by each green light and having to stop at the occasional red light, he would feel dread at facing his Ex-wife, but at the same time he felt happiness at getring to see his kids, he loved them, and would do anything for them. He reached into his pocket at a red light and checked in on discord, talking to a few people, he got a good laugh whenever Em acted like a badass. He set his phone in the passenger seat and hit the gas when the light changed.

Flagg was about there, once he got the kids he was for sure getting breakfast, he hadnt eaten yet after all.

He pulled up in front of the house and got out of his vehicle. He was abput halfway up the walkway when he saw the front door open and two kids walked out to meet him. He smiled as his daughter practically tackled him into a hug.

"Daddy!" his daughter shouted.

"Hey there Lana, hey Lincoln."

Lincoln nodded to his father as Rita stepped out of the house to meet him.

She said nothing, just simply held a hand out towards him to collect her child support.

Flagg through his money at her feet so she would pick it up, then turned and hopped in the driver seat as the kids eagerly slipped in the backseat, flooring the gas, Flagg took off like a bat out of hell.

The car ride was silent for the first half hour as Flagg took passing glances in the rear view mirror, it was awkward being a father and not knowing what to say.

"So...uhm... how's school kids?" Flagg asked nervously.

Lana stared at her fathers eyes in the rear view, her eyes sparkling with admiration.

"Today was bring your pet to school day! I brought my frog Hops!"

Flagg smiled. he was always happy to see his children happy. "How about you Lincoln, how is school?"

Lincoln looked up lazily at his father. "Fine."

Flagg hated when his kids pulled this, what did that little shit have to be pissy about? He groaned.

"Whats wrong son?"

Lincoln just yawned and stared out the backseat window.

Flagg's hands tightened around the wheel. "Answer me."

Lincoln through his lip out and began putting his earbuds in.

"Lincoln I am your father and you will show me respect!"

Lincoln was already nodding his head to whatever he was playing.

Flagg grumbled and returned to the road.

Lana looked up at her father. "Dad, I'm hungry!"

Flagg sighed. "Rita didnt give you anything to eat before you left?"

Lana shook her head. "No sir."

Flagg groaned, why the hell did this bitch always do that? Always leaving him with the bill! Fucking bitch!

Flagg was still fuming as he pulled up to a red light. He sat, cupping his chin in his hand, visibly stressed out over the ordeal.

That's when he heard a holler the next ride over. Clearly curious Flagg looked over to find... two of the hottest babes EVER. One ebony colored skin behind the wheel of a Ferrari, tits massive, the other a sweet blonde with red highlights in the passenger side. Flagg knew a phat ass when he saw one, and THIS bitch had a phat ass! They both gave him a wink, being the Flagg man, he winked back. No sooner than that he saw a man pop up from the backseat, wearing a hat with a long bill, shaggy brown hair and a goatee, this mofo was BUILT.

He gave Flagg a death glare as he took his thumb to his throat in a death gesture. He gulped and fled the red light, pulling into a Mcdonalds and finding a quick parking space, the Ferrari pulled up straight beside his own. The man jumping out in his black muscle shirt, labeled with 'Megadeath'

He set a meaty well built hand on Flaggs driver side window, once Flagg looked in his eyes, he couldnt look away.

"Howdy punk. Saw you eyeing my babes, got something you want to tell me?"

Flagg kept his cool as he looked for a way out... he looked around for anything, anything at all to save him. His eyes widened and a smirk spread across his features.

"I'm sorry man, its just after the incident, I havent been myself..." Flagg began to tear up, making the stranger uncomfortable.

"Uh... what?"

Flagg looked at the man once more, "It's just, I got into a car accident a month ago, I lost the ability to walk correctly, and I'd be okay with that... if it... if it werent for my family!" Flagg burst into a heated emotional cry.

The stranger's face softened in concern. "Your family? What happened?"

Flagg's lip quivered. "I lost everyone except my two kids in the back, poor things are still suffering brain trauma, my son suffered crushed vocal chords... he'll mever speak again!" Flagg burst into crying again.

The stranger placed a friendly hand on Flagg's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry to hear that man, if anyone ever gives you trouble, give me a call, I'll set em straight."

The man proceeded to pull a card from his back pocket and hand it to Flagg, who read over it immediately.

Raganoxer: 678-791-8302

Flagg put the card away and put his hands together. "God bless you sir!"

Rag smiled and hopped back in his car, taking off.

Flagg smiled.

"Dad, how did you come up with that?!"

Flagg turned to see a smiling Lincoln. "I parked in a handicap spot." Flagg grinned at his son as he got out of the vehicle.

"Lets go kids, time to eat."

The kids exited the vehicle with Flagg as they made there way into the fast food restaurant.

Lincoln looked at his dad with a devious smirk. "Hey dad, could i keep that guys card as a memory to how cool that was?"

Flagg smiled with pride. "Sure son!" Flagg gave him the card as Lincoln smiled and slid it into his pocket.

Flagg stood at the counter, hand to chin in thought as to what he wanted. "Kids go first."

"Happy meal please!" Lana said cutely.

Lincoln pulled out an earbud. "Ten piece meal please."

Flagg pulled out his wallet. "I'll take a Double Quarter Pounder meal please."

The woman typed it up. "That'll be 26.42!" she smiled.

Flagg held out the money, got his change and sat with his kids, waiting for the food.

Flagg looked over at his son, he quickly swiped his phone away.

"Hey!"

Flagg frowned. "No phones, I rarely get to see you turds. I want to be with you. Now get over your phone and be like Lana."

Lincoln shakes his head and looks at the playground, watching Lana play.

"Tell yah what dad, if I can make this napkin ball into the trash, I get my phone back."

Flagg looked at the nearest trashcan, it was pretty far, so naturally Flagg doubted Lincoln could make a shot.

"Deal."

Lincoln geared up and threw the ball, which hit a small figure beside it who in turn fell over, knocking it down. Lincoln winced as did Flagg.

He shot up and rushed to the child to check on him, but instead found...

"Actor Tony Cox?!" Flagg gasped.

Tony Cox stood up. "Man did you throw that shit?! Huh?!"

Flagg threw his hands up defensively. "No it was him dude!"

Tony looked to where Flagg was pointing and saw a kid playing with a little girl in pigtails.

"You gonna blame it on a kid? Mane what typa trash are you?!" Tony cocked back and through a wicked uppercut, destroying Flagg's sense of stability, making him fall down in a heap.

Tony started kicking and punching him, making Flagg cry like a bitch as Lincoln laughed.

Tony stopped and hocked a spitball on the poor guy, walking away mumbling about weirdos.

Flagg stood just as his order was called. He placed a hand against his jaw and rubbed the tender area. Looked at Lincoln and his face darkened.

He limped to the counter and took his food. Making his way to the table, he sat down and drank his Diet coke as his son waited for a reaction.

Lana happily ate, giving her father hugs every once in a while.

Once they had all finished they made there way to Flagg's car.

Flagg sat in front for a few passing moments, not a move, not a word till he reached in his pocket and pulled out Lincoln's phone, proceeding to smash it against the dash into a thousand pieces.

"HEY! Our stepdad Lynn Sr. gave me that!"

Flagg spun around, pointing a crooked finger at Lincoln.

"Shutup you brat, I've had enough of your shit, you're gonna have to start listening to me."

Lincoln cringed back and nodded.

Flagg nodded and spun back around, letting out a heavy breath. "I love you son. But you can't treat me like that, I do what I can to see you, and it's rare. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not see your own children? It's the worst feeling in the world, to add on how hard your mother is making it on me, it's nearly unbearable. You two are the only reason I'm still here, you two are all that I love. Now please, let me enjoy my time with you."

Lincoln began to tear up. "I'm sorry dad... it's just been hard adapting to this new family style, I love you, I just wish you were here more."

Flagg brought his son in for a hug. "I'm sorry about your phone, I'll get you a new one champ."

"Thanks dad. I love you."

Flagg smiled, a small tear trickling down his face. "I love you too."

He let go as they began to pull off.

Lincoln smirked as he pulled out his dads phone, cleverly taken at a good moment.

"Say Lana, do you want to see a movie?"

Lana beamed. "YEAH!!! Yay!"

Flagg smiled. "Whatcha wanna see?"

"Frozen 2!" Lana shouted.

"Lincoln? You okay with that?" Flagg asked.

Lincoln did a halfway smile. "Yeah dad. I'm okay with that."

Flagg smiled. "Finally, we're all on the same page."

As Flagg pulled up in the parking lot he noticed a familiar looking Ferrari. He happily pulled in beside him to keep up the joke.

Getting out of his ride, Flagg limped over to Rag, his kids following.

Flagg was surprised when Rag walked past him and dropped to one knee in front of Lincoln. "Sup lil man, how goes it?"

Lincoln smirked. "Awful, like I told you, that old sack of shit broke my phone. Could you teach him a lesson?"

Rag smirked. "It'd be my pleasure."

The man turned to Flagg, his pants pushing out from his massive bulge, he cracked his fist eagerly.

Flagg gulped.

Rag picked Flagg up by his neck and ankle and busted his face in the pavement, causing road rash. He pulled him up to hos face and began to choke with one hand and pull back and smash his teeth in. busting his nose in several different places. He reached in and stuck his finger into the open wound, causing Flagg to scream. Rag began to strangle him and shank him with a switchblade.

Once done, Rag spit and high fived the kid, hopping in the ferrari and taking off.

Lincoln walked over and took Flagg's wallet.

Flagg croaked his last words.

"I-im so p-proud."


End file.
